An Open Letter to My Dad on His 73rd Birthday

Kouk—

You’re 73! That is old to me. But, also, it’s, cool old. Like, still-has-very-active-physical-hobbies-but-takes-a-lunch-nap old. If you were still here, it would be hangs-with-grandchildren-and-then-stays-for-dinner-as-payment old. I wish that last part were true.

As you’ve noticed, I’ve been talking to you more. Out loud. I ask for eagles when I want to know you’re there and you send them to me. I love that for us. Thank you.

I’ve also been taking my kids to see and get to know the places that created me, nurtured me, and grew me. Check out your grandson on Mt. Constitution on Orcas Island just last month. It was freezing and windy, but he was such a great sport modeling for me (before I quickly grabbed him and hugged him to me, paranoid he would blow right over).

I know you talk to him. I know you visit him in his dreams. I know you do that with B, too.

The more I get to know myself, to fully embrace every dream I have for my life, the closer I feel to you. I finally found a medium who I believe can actually connect with you and she says that when you come through, you say “She has to do it her way!” And, that sure does apply to everything I do, doesn’t it?

I’ve also met more people this year who I’ve been able to connect to more deeply, whether through shared loss or through relation to places you and I know well together. I have been able to help people who are grieving because I have ridden the waves and still do. What a sadly fulfilling layer that has added to my life. What a trip it all is.

Thank you for guiding me, for showing up, and for helping my kids know you, too. We will eat ice cream with you today.

I love you. I miss you. Always.

Whit

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To read my past letters, you can find them here: 72, 71, 70, 69, 68, 67, 66.