Friday, January 6, 2017

I'm not a huge "Let me tell you about this quote I read the other day that spoke to my soul" person, but let me tell you about this quote I read the other day that spoke to my soul.

I found it on Tumblr:

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. -Maya Angelou

Aren't all of the best quotes attributed to her? GF gets it.

I think a lot about home...the home I am creating with my husbro and my felines, the homes I grew up in, the open land where I know I can always find my family, and how important it is to me that I stay in harmony with the people and places that make me (us) feel completely whole.

Since most of my life we existed as three humans + a circus of animals, my mom and dad made sure to remind me often and always that "home" was wherever we were together. I didn't always find that to be true in terms of physical space (example: hi I'm 13 and don't want to share a hotel room with my parents), but I did always appreciate it in terms of our bond and our togetherness.

In my "emerging adulthood" years, "home" has been harder to define. I do find that I'm finally in that life place where when I walk in our front door every evening and there are two fluffy little monsters circling our feet, I feel absolutely safe and whole again. I've also found that following my mom around the world the past few years has felt pretty zen to me, too.

And whenever I am here, there is no question that I am completely, absolutely where I came from and where I'll always feel, well, free.

It was blanketed in snow on Christmas when I was there, but the sense of peace I have when I am in it never changes. Admittedly, those holiday years in between being and kid and having kids are really strange. I have a hard time figuring out where I fit. Here, in North Central Washington, though, no matter how old I am, I don't feel like I need to throw myself against the walls, even if I'm visiting solo.

It's the place I've been coming to since before I was born, so even in those years when "home" was hard to define, it was always a place I could run to safety.

What I've learned throughout my rambles and grappling with what "home" is or should be is that it doesn't have to be one place or one person. Waterville is home. Raz is home. My mom is home. Sitting on my best friend's couch and watching YouTube videos on her SmartTV is home. It's the feeeeeeling.

And the older I get, the more I create it, the more I chase it, and the more I hope I can represent it for someone else. If it's just for my little family, that's enough.

What is home for you?

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