I did a juice cleanse and lived to tweet about it

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

If you follow me on Twitter, you might have noticed a higher than average amount of hangry tweets lately. These tweets were spurred by my decision to detox after my recent San Francisco work travel, and since juice cleanses are all the rage right now, I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring.

I know myself and I knew this wouldn't go down easily. I immediately wanted to take my hat back out of the ring, but since I invested some cash in this experiment, I went with it. A local company, Strawberry Moon Juice, delivers juice to my yoga studio (which just so happens to be right down the street from my apartment), so choosing a cleanse was easy. I didn't want to go too gnarly my first time (or ever) and I didn't want to go too soft, so I went with the three day cleanse of four juices per day. Here are the deets on my program: 

a little bit fruity
For the novice. Consider this our intro into juice fasting. It is designed for those that love the sugar, for those with a sweet tooth. If you are hoping to improve your diet but just don't wish to graze in fields of alfalfa a little bit fruity is a great way to start. We keep it sweet without giving you all fruit. Greens will be lightly sweetened.
  • This season's menu includes:
    - pear almond
    - celery cucumber kale spinach parsley lemon apple ginger
    - carrot apple orange 
    - kale cucumber apple lime
  What follows is my experience with the program, all via Twitter.

Cautious hope.
Anger.
Manipulation and making deals.
Really not loving being without caffeine (WHICH THEY DO NOT TELL YOU)...or wine. I thought this was a liquid diet?
Dreaming.
This kind of torture should have some benes, right?
People tempting me with wine and coffee. THE WORST. Plus, it's clear my head is so fuzzy I can't even spell anymore.
My sad form of rebellion - Cafe Yumm.
Missing my drug(s) of choice.
Going full on mental.
The delusions and hangriness gets even more intense.
Trying to survive with humor.
'MERICA.
Impatience.
All is well in the world, and life is as it should be.

Have you ever cleansed? What was your experience? Time will tell if I'd do it again, but, hey, I lost four pounds and the drinks weren't all that bad. I just really wanted something to chew on.

For more of my social and personal torture experiments, follow me on Twitter: @strongwhit

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